Well, here it is. All the skinny on my recent Politically Incorrect appearance...

Several months ago we sent a press kit over to the people at Politically Incorrect. About the same time our friends over at H&S Sales heard Bill Maher mention on air that his favorite magazines were Gent, Juggs and Hustler. Tipped off that Bill might have some interest in having me on as a guest <g>, Robyn from H&S Sales sent another press kit and phoned one of the producers. I eventually got to speak with someone at the show, but never heard anything back from them after our conversation.

Then, in late August, I made the cover of USA Today, and later found out that Bill Maher mentioned me and the USA Today article in his monologue one night. A few weeks later I got a call from one of his producers inviting me to appear on the show September 18th... I was told that the other guests would be: Alan King, the comedian; Paul Rudnick, screenwriter of the new movie, In & Out; and Bob Larson, a conservative talk radio host from Denver, and that the topics would be faxed to me two days before the show.

The topics that would be covered on the show were Sex on the Internet (of course), The Gay Rights Movement vs. the Christian Right, the Southern Baptist Convention's boycott of Disney, and C. Heston's recent speech on behalf of the NRA, declaring the 2nd Amendment more important than the 1st.

Now, I've been on a lot of TV shows and I'm pretty comfortable with doing news shows or TV magazines, but Politically Incorrect was a much scarier prospect and I was nervous. Not only did I have to be prepared to speak intelligently about my business, but I had to be ready for a lot of other topics with which I was not so familiar. And not only would I be asked to comment, I'd have to debate the issues, too. As the date grew closer I began to realize that I wasn't just nervous -- I was paralyzed with fear!

The morning of September 18, I woke up and made myself some toast. But, I just couldn't bring myself to eat it, so I carried the toast to the office. At the office, I spun around being totally worthless until everyone begged me to go home. I carried my toast back to the house at 2:00. (Did I think I would ever eat the toast? I don't know!) I sat there, stared at my toast, tried to meditate, and even thought about going AWOL, until the car arrived to take me to the studio at 4:15.

The driver was very nice and told a bunch of stories about other guests he'd driven. He said I had nothing to worry about and I tried to tell myself he was right. We arrived at the studio where I met the other guests, producers, assistants and make-up artists. Everyone was extremely kind and supportive, and my panic attacks began to subside (a little). I was shown which way to enter the studio and where my chair was (Oh God!). Then I had a talk with the head producer about the actual taping and where the conversation might lead.

Paul Rudnick and I waited to one side of the stage, while Alan King and Bob Larson waited on the other. The opening monologue seemed to go on for an eternity! Paul and I made small talk, stood up, sat down, stood up again and clutched our bottles of water -- waiting. Paul went out first, then Bob, and then me. At that point it all got very surreal. I shook Bill's hand, said hello and sat down. Alan King came out and we were on.

The subject of Sex on the Internet spawned an immediate debate between myself and Bob Larson, who claimed the Internet was bad for children and desensitized sex for adults. I held my own with him and even got a couple rounds of applause (yeah!). It was basically Danni vs. Bob, with Alan, Paul and Bill providing comic relief at all the right times. I didn't get to say all the things I wanted to say and some things just wouldn't come out of my mouth exactly right, but he never made me sweat.

After the second break, it was decided that we'd go onto the next subject. But right before going back on air, Bill decided to stick with Sex on the Internet and we never got to anything else. (Sheesh! All that homework on the Christian Coalition, the Gay Rights Movement and the NRA for nothing!<g>)Then, before I knew it -- it was all over.

We all took a photo together and headed back up to the green room. Everybody talked for a bit and then I was led back to my car. Bob Larson and I left at the same time and had a very nice conversation on the way out (on a different subject, of course!). I got to the car and all of a sudden I was REALLY HUNGRY.<G>

I went out for dinner and then the panic set in, again. I couldn't really remember exactly what I'd said and started to worry about looking like an idiot on TV. I waited up 'till 12:00 a.m. to watch the show -- once again paralyzed with fear! The show finally came on and I was amazed at the fact that I didn't look nervous. (How did I do that?) It was also great to see that, for the most part, I didn't do anything stupid, and the couple of times I started to, Alan King would save me with a joke. Wow! I actually did it -- I survived Politically Incorrect!

Now I want to do it again. (-: